Children are maggots! Used to compete in the Olympics, throwing the hammer! Twelve times two is twenty-four. Mrs. Wormwood: Trunchbull: BACKGROUND SINGERS I'm not hinting, but if you did happen to have a story you wanted . Ever since the day doc chopped the umbilical cord, MRS WORMWOOD and RUDOLPHO Who would be here to sign for the packages? My school is a model of discipline! Very supple. Please! Agatha Trunchbull. . What's this? A spotlight makes its way across the letters on the board, finally settling at the end on the letter Z. BRUCE From the grunt I had practiced for many a month? DOCTOR Hm? MATILDA sits down reading a book. And . Yourself, Matilda? Do you think you could tell me what two times twenty-eight is? The guy with the stupid haircut! It's out of the question. There's another crime in the making, your car is about to run a stop sign. . Pizza is my second favorite thing that I eat in bed. Harry Wormwood: Mr. Wormwood: Bye-bye, sir. I'll tell you tomorrow. All grown-ups get scared, just like children. The announcer from MISS TRUNCHBULL's videos starts commentating. Just knock on the door. in my opinion, this little girl should be placed in the top form with the eleven-year-olds! I mean, take a look at you and me. Just so you all know, she's my best friend! . Oh, my good Lord. [to MRS WORMWOOD] Would you please shut up? You have brats yourself? I mean . You can break them out whenever there is a lull in conversation with your friends or whenever you want to break the ice with someone new. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. COUPLE 4 One look at my face and it's plain to see. MR WORMWOOD Use the rod, beat the child, that's my motto. MRS PHELPS retreats to the smaller block and sits down. MISS HONEY MRS WORMWOOD But I . It's been clear there's no peer for a miracle like me. When lights come up again, AMANDA is gone. Think of the possibilities.". and look at reading. Yes. Eat. And instead of a musical fanfare, there was silence, as he solemnly strode into the room. But there was no sign of the Acrobat, and no glimpse at all of her shiny white scarf. MISS TRUNCHBULL What? In the slip of a bolt, there's a tiny revolt. I am trying to pull off the biggest business deal of my life and I have to listen to this. There's never been a miracle, a miracle, a miracle Agatha Trunchbull: These are some of the best quotes from the fantasy family film Matilda as determined by you and your votes. School? Just you wait for phys-ed. "Bambinatum est magitum." Look, is this gonna take much longer, doctor? I'll tell ya, six hours a day of school IS NOT enough. I don't want any, thank you. What about the Bi-Annual International Amateur Salsa and Ballroom Dancing Championships? Like, why is there a "d" in "fridge" but . MATILDAThe moved into a beautiful old house at the edge of town, and in the evenings, they would walk and take the air. To survive this mess by Being a prince or a princess. Oh, it's Miss Honey. [insulted] Doesn't mean that you just have to grin and bear it. [She exits down the steps and stops behind the first portion of the audience.] That is v . I'm the best! MISS HONEY faces the audience and raises her fist. Check it if you don't believe me. She then sniffs her way across the room, following the former path of the spotlight. It seems that there are millions of these "one in a millions" these days. BRUCE My mummy says I'm a lousy little worm. Oh! Yesterday, she caught Julius Rottwinkle eating a gobstopper during science. MISS HONEY exits off the front of the stage. . to the rules. MATILDA That's right, sir. If you always take it on the chin and wear it, No kid likes being yelled at, but it was precisely Harry's ranting and raving that gave Matilda the key to her power. Hmm. The CHILDREN enter from both sides of the stage, with lab coats over their costumes. Zinnia Wormwood: We can spell "difficulty". You gotta be loud! If I let this little girl fall? Damn girl, I think I need a Parlyz Heal, Because you're stunning. MR WORMWOOD 1. 100 Best Pickup Lines for Girls That Actually Work | by Qasim Adam | ILLUMINATION | Medium 500 Apologies, but something went wrong on our end. Mum, would you like to hear a story? She exits, not before scratching her behind and wiping her nose. My word is my law! Come stai? What about me, then? "Hi, My Name Is [insert name]." I'd say this one is the number one pick-up line of all time. She stands paralyzed in fear. So, Matilda. Bruce! Please! He'd call me bumblebee. MATILDA Cat in the Hat! Oh, of course. The audience gasped so loud that a passing aeroplane caught it on its instrumentation and recorded it as an atmospheric phenomenon. But although they loved each other, although they were famous and everyone loved them, they were sad. She didn't know. Between you and it, It's called "Moby Dick", by Herman Melville. Who wants stories? I can see we're not going to agree, are we? [picks up two bowls of cereal] . You might as well be saying you think that it's okay, To stand up and be proud! [after Matilda destroys the Wormwoods' TV with her powers] Miracle! [She shoves ERIC out of his seat so MATILDA can stand on his desk.]. Dr. Seuss Pick Up Lines. [hands the car drill to Mikey, then walks to Matilda] I'm telling you, I didn't do it! We have everything . MATILDA I'll be watching you, each and every one. Now sit up and look at the TV. Do you believe in love at first site or should I walk by with my incense again? When she was just two years old, her mother died. Psst! AAAAAAAHHHH! Miss Honey: You will soon see there's no escaping tragedy. To unlock that power, all she had to do was practice. The distance the shotput goes, depends upon the effort that you PUT INTO IT. The school bell rings and all the children march out. Tell me anywhere you'd like to go on a date. . [to his partner] Jenny: I'm gonna take that no-good jalopy you sold me and shove it up your bazooga! FBI Agent Bill: How about this. A bell rings. Harry Wormwood: A girl should think about make-up and hair dye. Look at that! MISS TRUNCHBULL Tess of the D'urbervilles . Good-bye, Miss Honey. . so our main focus is on cute pickup lines, funny pick up lines, cheesy pick up lines, corny pickup lines, clever pickup lines, bad pick up lines, worst pick up lines, sweet pickup lines, and this list is . Matilda, that . Well, a man is entitled to come home and find dinner on the table, without having to wait for a convention of male strippers! Harry Wormwood: The Invisible Man . . You just need to keep your feet inside the line. Jenny: Haven't I just told you that she is a gangster? 2. I will not say anymore! 1. Antibiotics, or . Miss Trunchbull, I was the one who was at your house last night, and I think Agatha Trunchbull: It's the Trunchbull's speciality. [Matilda uses her powers to slam her bedroom door in Harry's face just as he reaches it]. so we manage all lists in categories just go to the table of content in our article and find your needed pickup lines from the article. I need to talk to SOMEBODY besides our stupid kids! Million $ Sticky Host: endobj What is it? green! Trunchbull: Matilda's teacher? Oh, very rich. You gotta get up! What about rules, Honey? Oh, let's put it this way. BIG KIDS But it's a truth empirical. Hey, sleep with me.I am not scary.I'm really rich.I'm Drew Carey. I'm the best! Matilda turns around and carrot is facing her. I should be dancing the Tarentella The more you'll just look like a fool. I think they just fit. MR WORMWOOD Your eyes are like the ocean; I could swim in them all day. She laughs. . I always compete, doctor. MISS TRUNCHBULL But if I try I can remeMber, . Of course! Oh, that's where it's at! Sometimes you have to be a little bit naughty! Her mind is incredible. Wouldn't you agree, Miss Honey? There's, erm . Their sadness overwhelmed them, and drew them into ever more dangerous feats, as their work became the only place they could escape the inescapable tragedy of their lives! [turns to Michael] Bruce 'Little Brucey: Zinnia Wormwood: Oh, you stupid man. I've been trapped inside this (K) cage for ages, ALL GIRLS Can you service me? Matilda: What? MR WORMWOOD And the second part is Chokey! You chose books. A little less flat, a lot more heel. Four judges in outrageous costumes sit behind it. [:g-] Your hair! Dirty dealings, like buying stolen car parts, never stay secret for long, especially when the FBI gets involved. Her life was good and happy. And so, the great day arrived! Matilda Quotes Showing 1-30 of 112 "So Matilda's strong young mind continued to grow, nurtured by the voices of all those authors who had sent their books out into the world like ships on the sea. Matilda! Oh, my undercarriage doesn't feel quite normal. What is this trash you're reading? They say it's a cupboard in her office that she throws children into. 19. Is she here? Agatha Trunchbull: With powers, the carrot flies into his mouth. [sometimes, to be in time with the music: Well? Narrator: You're being pathetic! Meet Matilda. 3. Matilda, you promised me you wouldn't go back in that house again. MISS TRUNCHBULL and CHILDREN Look at you hesitating. MRS WORMWOOD And worst of all, when the girl was five, her father died. Before my happy days were over, In the world of lame pick-up lines, corny phrases, and straight-out catcalling, there's one form of getting noticed that's neither flimsy nor stupid. MR WORMWOOD runs over and grabs MATILDA's book. FBI Agent Bob: Just knock on the door. [She re-enters her bedroom and jumps onto the bed.] You have to put it right. Whoa! You've not got the spine. MISS TRUNCHBULL Now, the secret to my success in business is . BIG KID [RYAN] That's all right, Jenny. If you sit around and let them get on top, you AAAHH! Narrator: 7. In all of Hooterville, where there's Hooters supreme, yours are the best of the Hooters I've seen. Two, three, four. And I will Teach you a thing or two. Matilda might never have discovered her great own strength of mind, were it not for the events that began on the very next day. And I never understood you, not one little bit Who's got a pen? Cake. You have got to be Stop. I'm never wrong! It was the age of wisdom . . MISS TRUNCHBULL Every day starts with the tick of a clock. BIG KIDS and CHILDREN google_color_link="000000"; We're told we have to do what we're told, but surely, [walking out of the room excitedly] . A boy with no fingie? Wonderful. MISS HONEY MRS WORMWOOD I didn't, I was on the garage roof. You're just wasting enerGy, google_color_url="320000"; But this little girl . The fibers fused to my hair! . I don't want green hair. Overall, the best pickup line is one that is creative and original. Oh, cook . You'll never again be subject to abuse for your immense caboose. So, what is it? She misses me so much. Here we are, my heartstrings! MISS HONEY Only when they deserved it, of course. Matilda: . You gotta give yourself permission to shine. Well, Matilda Wormwood. You have to stay inside the circle all the time. The less you have to sell, the harder you sell it. One day Jen, you'll see that everything I do is for your own good. [cutting off Harry's hat with scissors] In the cupboard. . She then steps forward and hugs MISS HONEY tightly. . What a dear! What we all suspected. Desks rise from the ground and a blackboard makes its way from the back of the stage. Lord knows we've tried. Look at this. [She takes a mirror from the armchair.] Harry Wormwood: Connections Well, I'll pay you back, young lady. Three judges hold up signs reading "10" as MRS WORMWOOD sits on the table. That's exactly what you've done. LAVENDER You can't. My mummy says I'm a miracle, Like you, I was curious, Instead, she's found me. See you next week. [She holds her hand out to MATILDA, who takes it.] Agatha Trunchbull: DOCTOR RUDOLPHO I am off to bleach my roots . Why, why, why, why, why, why, why? BOTH: What a dear! Oh MATILDA Agatha Trunchbull: And even if you put in heaps of effort, AAAHH! Get on with it. Good morning, children! I believe that . Where is the maggot known as Nigel? Great, big, question-asking . . "I have a pen, you have a phone number. Let alone getting the conversation going! "We have everything that the world has to offer," said the wife. MRS WORMWOOD BIG KIDS enter menacingly behind the gate. Okay, my boy, heir to the throne, today we diddle the customer. They performed some of the most incredible feats together anyone has ever seen. Upon the blackboard is written the alphabet. [after listing prices of cars bought and sold]. WOMAN: Well, take another! And my very favorite is a spoonful of Nutella. He surely can't! BRUCE turns back around and the scene unfreezes. Flashbulbs go off. Before my happy days were Over, No, it's not a poem by William S., although a recital of Othello would get you far, but rather math pick-up lines. But time is the one thing no one is master of. Now, can anyone read this? Her mind? They're trying to scare us. Here. MATILDA My mummy says I'm a miracle. DOCTOR I . [She wraps her hands around MATILDA.] MATILDA Secrets. Mrs. C, Mrs. U, Mrs. L-T-Y! MISS TRUNCHBULL flails victoriously, then starts blowing her whistle. How much, exactly are we talking about? And if you can't read sentences, you've got no chance with books. Matilda: Why? And even if you could, BIG KIDS It's just that they want that child so very much. guy . Kim . Back before my life had ended, Matilda: MRS WORMWOOD Are you a pig, Amanda? No one's going to listen if you don't shout. It was like the entire world went silent for that I'll have her for that. Come on! The Burning Woman, Hurling Through the Air, with Dynamite in Her Hair, Over Sharks and Spiky Objects, Caught by the Man Locked in a Cage will be performed, and performed this day, or . And good luck with the Tolstoy. 1 0 obj Ciao, Rudolpho. Zinnia's on the phone, talking about her kids, reciting the words as Matilda magically writes them on the blackboard, to the FBI agents, as they rummage through her parents' garage looking for car parts, He drags Matilda, throwing the book aside, to where Zinnia is, to Michael, who is choking on a carrot Matilida shot at his mouth with her powers, speaking to Matilda about her and her father, accusing Matilda of putting a newt in her drinking water, Matilda uses her powers to slam her bedroom door in Harry's face just as he reaches it, Matilda arrives home from school late at night after Bruce Bogtrotter's encounter with the Trunchbull, snatching the book from Matilda and tears the pages out of the cover, appalled at Zinnia talking with FBI agents Bill and Bob, after Matilda destroys the Wormwoods' TV with her powers, Harry has ordered out of the house the FBI agents, whom Zinnia had just been talking to, she notices that the chocolate box lid is opened and hangs up, she lunges the ball at the door, ultimately puncturing it immensely, she shoves Jenny out of her office and slams the door after her, Jenny enters Ms. Trunchbull's office and almost get struck by a dart, throws carrot from the spoon. It's your fault. Ever since the day doc chopped the umbilical cord, I don't know anybody who did. When a person is bad, that person has to be taught a lesson! Ahh! MICHAEL gets up and MR WORMWOOD sits down on his recliner. From offstage, MISS TRUNCHBULL blows on her whistle. Whee! MISS TRUNCHBULL Harry Wormwood: Harry Wormwood had unintentionally given his daughter the first practical advice she could use. Tricks!" You're almost finished. [His stomach growls.] You and I must be Weedles. Has incredible upper-body strength. A table with the word "Contest" emblazoned on the side is wheeled in. I wish my pillow was as huggable as you. This miracle . LAVENDER . I? [Miss Honey briefly nods yes as she leaves to rescue Matilda from the Chokey]. It's true he indulges my tendency to bulge. You have to put it right . They say she's going to put me in Chokey! I'm the best! Lights up. [He sits down in a zen position.]. The hat rack is taken away. How sweet. DOCTOR Knock on the door, Jenny. One look at my face and it's plain to see. Like Romeo and Juliet, MISS HONEY [appalled at Zinnia talking with FBI agents Bill and Bob] Narrator: . Where's his fingie? AAAHH! AMANDA Might as well be saying you think that it's okay, You have to force the little squits to toe the line! CHILDREN and COUPLES arrange themselves behind it. A man in business simply cannot fail to get noticed when he looks like this. . A brand new human being! MATILDA Yes! . Four COUPLES, crouched down behind the table, begin to stand and speak. DOCTOR 2. My daddy says I'm his special little . MRS WORMWOOD Anyone with a good sense of humor will appreciate them. stream What a pleasure to see you. MR WORMWOOD But she is a squib. ACROBAT and ESCAPOLOGIST [off-stage] Stuff it in. BIG KID [BEN] Ever since the day doc chopped the umbilical cord, MATILDA opens a cupboard at the front of the stage. "Time is on our side. As I was saying, Matilda. COUPLE 1 But nobody else is gonna put it right for me. But I'm a barrelina 6. She daintily reaches up and captures a figurine of a woman throwing the hammer.]. MRS WORMWOOD Dinner time is family time. Can I ask you a question? . But even you, Bruce, MISS TRUNCHBULL We've curated this list of inspiring 'Matilda' quotes from the book and the movie. RUDOLPHO MR WORMWOOD Now, this is much harder, so don't worry if you don't get it. Innocent victims of their story. I love my school it isn't fair! It's just pathetic! My name is Miss Honey. MRS PHELPS Please! What did you think? They say she's lined it with nails, and spikes, and bits of broken glass. MATILDA Mrs Wormwood, do you really have no idea? . NIGEL leans forward in concentration and groans in agony several times. Agatha Trunchbull: [Jenny enters Ms. Trunchbull's office and almost get struck by a dart]. MISS TRUNCHBULL It's the female minor. But unless you want to suffer, listen up You really don't know anything, do you? I cannot for the life of me understand why small children take so long to grow up. Now, eat it. Mrs. COUPLE 2 Come on, move you piece of junkyard fodder! . queens! In . See more ideas about pick up lines funny, pick up lines cheesy, pick up lines. This one was mine. A model of a grand old house rolls in from the back of the stage. MATILDA Try to be funny, or clever, or both! Five times two is ten. Don't be disgusting! Not dressed in hospital cotton, MAN: So hilarious. Michael: B-R-O-O-C-E! Not a jot! Go on, Brucey! I'm gonna sue you, I'm gonna burn down your showroom! The subsequent fall was inevitable. And each night, the children of the town would wait in anticipation, hoping for a glimpse of the shiny white scarf that the acrobat always wore, for then they knew that they had only to cry, "Tricks! Harry Wormwood: I live in a cage, Harry! BRUCE But this little girl . And . front bottom. Come on, Bruce, be our hero. MR WORMWOOD What's wrong with me? I have suffered in this Jail, Well, I shall take your money when you earn it, and I shall spend it. Since you're an educator, I'll make you a deal. And therefore, she is guilty! I'll tell you something. Agatha Trunchbull: NIGEL [the Trunchbull's car, sold to her by Harry Wormwood, has broken down, forcing her to haul it all the way back to her house]. Matilda: MR WORMWOOD tickles him and MICHAEL laughs suddenly, then falls back into his normal dull expression. This uncorrupted mind. And people would come from miles around: kings! Or maybe your largeness Oil of Violets hair tonic for men. With an owchie . Patience, my love. How can you be sure unless you have another PIECE? Bruce Bogtrotter: Funny Tinder pickup lines. Let out your belt. His whatchamacallit. Goofs MATILDA said the wife, smiling sadly and slipping her hand into his. DOCTOR MISS HONEY knocks three times and winces. . What have I told you about wearing pigtails? Bunch of hippies and cesspool salesmen, ha ha ha ha Jenny: Narrator: Creep on back to that library of yours or something. Ladies and gentlemen! Now, get off to bed, you little bookworm. RUDOLPHO No. Did you hear what we said? Let me tell you something, son. That lady? It is, is it? 8. The curtain is wheeled away to reveal MRS WORMWOOD. Miss Honey: [He does a split in front of MISS HONEY. I mean, what else? You have to stay inside the circle all the time. Well, then stop her reading! Snickerdoodle, what did you do to your hair? And expensive, $9.25 for a bar of soap? She just picked him up, swung him around, and threw him out the . You're better off raising tomatoes. When all had quietened down, she stepped forward and produced . ESCAPOLOGIST [off-stage] MATILDA holds her a dramatic pose, holding the large book above her head. Are you crying? And each night, the children of the town would wait in anticipation, hoping for a glimpse of the shiny white scarf that the acrobat always wore, for then they knew that they had only to cry, "Tricks! Girl, you've gotta learn to stand up and stick out from the Have another marshmallow, Dip face. Million $ Sticky Host: I have my ion you. Good hair means a good brain. What? What was my profit for the day? I ate the lot! Before I first heard the pealing of the bell. The dumber the act, the bigger the confession. I have the adoption papers. MISS TRUNCHBULL . My daddy says I'm a bore. I have suffered in this jail. It's going to be brilliant! Michael chokes the carrot]. BIG KIDS and CHILDREN run off. Now, get out of here, you little stink worm! The chances of existence almost infinitely small. The scene changes to the library. Past Lavender. National Green Hair Day! I need a car, inexpensive but reliable. [She throws the baton across the stage, does a jet to catch it, and points her finger at MISS HONEY.] You can be all cynical, Because you're pretty darn sweet. You shall be destroyed. But not just to see their skill, but also to see their love for each other, which was so deep that it was said that cats would purr as they passed them, and dogs would weep with joy. We cannot simply place her in the top form with the eleven-year-olds. 3. And so it was, they decided to perform the most dangerous feat ever known to man!